Potential Date : Alley Jackson Year: Junior Major: Public Relations

I have been monitoring the Miss Auburn race and I’m not gunna lie, you got it going on. It’s hard to find a girl as pretty as you who has a good head on her shoulders as well. Oh goodness, how embarrassing, I forgot to introduce myself! My name is Ryan Stephens (you can call me Nanny McPhee if you want) and I am a Mechanical Engineering major. If you are the type of person who will get a certain idea about a person based on their major, then this will be one of the few times that all your assumptions are correct. Look at this picture that I attached.



I don’t even have to wear those huge spectacles, but I do anyways. But I do have some interesting hobbies, such as eating, sleeping, studying and I quite a well established poet if I do say so myself. Allow me to give you a sampling, I call this one “An Ode to Alley”

Beaver and Squirrel
Combining them will create
The fearsome Squeaver

Now I know that you get asked out by guys like me all the time, but wait just a second… oops! I accidentally attached my computerized checkbook to this email! Oh heavens, I sure hope that you don’t look at it!



No one is supposed to see that! Anyways, as you can see, I have just enough money in there to take a certain someone to the Olive Garden! Alley, will you be that certain someone? We will have a great time! We can talk about whatever you want! We can talk about all the construction going on in Auburn. I used to get mad at the mayor, but it turns out he has no control over paving College Street the week classes begin. Or if you don’t want to talk about that, we can talk about how I much we love ‘Lost’ or ‘24’ or ‘American Idol’ or ‘Boobah’ or any of those ridiculously popular shows. As we all know, Valentine’s Day is right around the corner and we all know what that means, you get to be taken to Olive Garden by me! Play it smart and accept my offer for some good old fashioned Italian eateriness. I’m looking forward to your response and good luck with the Miss Auburn race!

Hope to hear from you soon,
Ryan (R del Rio for short)

Potential Date : Lauren Lovett Year: Junior Major: Finance

Lauren,

As a Miss Auburn enthusiast, I couldn’t help but notice what a terrific and wonderful person you are. You are a gentle and caring person whose interests are not in yourself, but others. Since I already know a little bit about you, I think it’s only fair that I tell you a few things about myself. My name is Ryan Stephens (you can call me Brandon Cox if you want, I don’t mind) and I am a third year Mechanical Engineering major. I don’t wear glasses and I’ve never had braces. Before you fall off your seat in astonishment, allow me to show you a picture of myself.



Needless to say, that is me jumpkicking. If my vertical leap doesn’t impress you, then I strongly believe that nothing will. So you are a finance major eh? What a coincidence, my roommate is majoring in Bio Medical Science. Anyways, I’m also a rather gifted poet. So if you don’t mind, I’d like to share a little something I came up with late last night, its called “The True Meaning of Life”

Where am I this time?
In a swamp, marsh or bog? Nay.
In my drool puddle.

Now it’s understandable that a lady as attractive at yourself gets asked out by guys like me all the time, but I’m different! Your platform is “Love Your Heart,” well first we must know the individual heart more. So I have attached a chart that accurately provides the divisions of my heart.



As you can see, there is a little bit of room for someone such as yourself. So why don’t you give me a shot and let me take you out to the Olive Garden! Their salad is unrivaled and you can eat as much as you want! In fact, that might be all we get! But the choice is yours. Valentine’s Day is right around the corner and everyone knows that is the celebration of women’s empowerment over men, so let me buy you dinner! I would be honored if you accept my invitation for some good eating and I’m looking forward to hearing from you soon. Good luck in the Miss Auburn race!

Hope to hear from you soon,
Ryan (Rikki-Tikki-Tavy for short)

Lauren's Response:

Hi Aaron,

I'm flattered! Thank you very much for your interest in my Miss Auburn campaign. I will be campaigning through valentines day and will be unable to meet with you then. I hope you are having a wonderful day!

War Eagle,
Lauren Lovett

CONTINUE TO PART III......