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by Mark
12-21-06
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few weeks ago Al Borges publicly made a few announcements saying he would
like to become the head coach at Stanford. How were we Auburn fans supposed
to react to this? It’s the dream of every assistant coach to become
a head coach. It would be selfish to hope he didn’t get the job
he wanted.
I was somewhat certain Borges would be offered the job, since he is the greatest football mind – ever. I even did a rough sketch of another comic in which Tuberville dealt with the ramifications of Borges leaving. In the comic, I would steal the basic plot to Fight Club in that Tuberville would learn Borges never actually existed. Borges was only a hallucination of Tuberville’s who taught him how to run an offense. Maybe it is in his best interest to stay an assistant coach. Not because he wouldn’t be a talented head coach, but because he’s better able to achieve greatness in his current position. In the show Happy Days, Richie Cunningham was the main character but The Fonz was the reason the show was successful. If you’re unlike me, you probably had a life during your high school years and didn’t watch enough ‘Nick-at-Nite’, so here’s the rundown; |
 Top: Tuberville admires the brilliance |
Ex-New Yorker Arthur Fonzarelli moves to small town Wisconsin and meets small town kid Richie Cunningham and teaches him to be cool. It’s much like the story of Ex-LA resident Al Borges moving to small town Alabama and meeting small town coach Tommy Tuberville and teaching him how to run an offense.
ABC executives wanted to rename the show Fonzie’s Happy Days and have the show revolve around The Fonz. The shows writers knew the idea was a bad one and didn’t go through. Later, when Ron Howard (Cunningham) left the show to pursue directing – the show was written around The Fonz which led to the show’s downfall.
In the show Family Matters, we don’t remember the names of the main characters, just the neighbor, Steve Urkel.
Five years from now, we won’t remember who the President of the United States was, but we’ll always remember that cool fat guy who shot a man in the face as the man in charge.
Top billing isn’t always a person’s number one goal.
Auburn fans have been hearing about the greatness of Bear Bryant for all of our lives and it can be very annoying. We’ve endured countless rants that paint Bryant as almost a Christ-like figure. Some Alabama fans think Bryant and the Robert E. Lee fit into the holy trinity. I can unfortunately cite a source for the previous statement.
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If we use Bama logic, we can consider Al Borges to be the Antibear – a great coach who happens to be the polar opposite of everything Bear Bryant stood for. Bryant was very
concerned with fashion and looks. He enjoyed wearing pink and he didn’t
go anywhere without his stylish and feminine hat. Al Borges wears Hawaiian
shirts exclusively since real men don’t care about their looks. |
 Bryant: Makes it work |
 He's not wearing Auburn gear, but it's still a great picture. |
Al Borges is undefeated in Tuscaloosa. Bear Bryant was far from it. Bryant butchered the English language with his “ain’t never been nuttin’ but a winner” quotes. Borges uses words like “equanimity” in post game interviews. Bryant
was dumb enough to wrestle a bear. Borges is not.
E-mail mark at mark@theauburner.com |
In other news;
here's a new Al Borges
shirt:
