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by Mark
10 -20-06
You’ve probably seen the link on the main page for Peter Kerasotis’ article about the Auburn-Florida game being fixed, Auburn’s post game drunken riots and Jordan-Hare’s audio warfare. We’re all angry about the blatant lies of his, but I think our problem goes deeper than that. Google his name. The majority of the top 10 links are about how he’s a horrible writer, so it's not like someone respectable is attacking Auburn here. Look at his column archive and you’ll quickly conclude he may not even be fully literate. The fact that he’s employed by Florida Today (owned by USA Today) leads me to the conclusion that his editor/boss, Terry Eberle, has done something very, very, very horrible in his past and Peter Kerasotis has photographs.
Since Kerasotis can obviously pull strings with powerful people, there’s no way I’m sending him an angry e-mail like the ones many of you have sent me copies of. In fact, if I sucked up to the guy, I might encourage him to talk USA Today into buying this website for millions.
Mr. Kerasotis,
I am a student at Auburn University and I was in attendance at the “game” in which the Florida Gators were cheated out of a national championship. Your column was dead on about the dangerous environment the Auburn students created. I’m sorry I put your life in danger like that by rushing the field.
There’s no disputing your evidence, Mr. Kerasotis. Citing “gator message boards” as a source? How can someone expect evidence more solid than that from a journalist? A phone call would have been overkill.
Your Buddy,
Mark
PS: Thank you for bringing up the music issue. I’m also sick of these daggum teenagers and their rock and roll music. I'd much rather the quiet solitude of The Swamp.
Granted, I wasn’t going to address the flaws in his fumble argument.
Florida Today keeps showing this image to prove the fumble call was wrong.
What the photo doesn’t show is that the ball is moving backwards due to Leak's motions. Also, Kerasotis fails to notice the blatant holding on Tray Blackmon’s prostate, as shown here:
Ok, it was his jersey. Shown here.
And here’s the dangerous scene of thousands of drunken Auburn fans rushing the field and putting people in danger.
I’m interested in seeing how the “cacophony” issue turns out (When I was in 6th grade, I’d randomly put fancy words into my otherwise horrible papers to give the illusion of competence, just like Kerasotis does).
Just when you didn’t think Auburn Football could get any better, just when you thought it’d be impossible to come up with any more amazing top 10 wins with amazingly clutch plays, just when you thought the atmosphere in Jordan Hare couldn’t get any better, just when you thought you couldn’t bask in the jealousy of other schools any more, Auburn went on and accomplished one of her greatest feats by becoming the first university to ever be reprimanded for ROCKING TOO HARD.
Were we playing Cotton-Eyed Joe too loud? YMCA? Sweet Home Alabama? Heck no! We were reprimanded for rocking to AC/DC, Queen and Survivor. You can’t get much more hardcore than that. I’m so proud of Auburn for this...
Unfortunately, Jay Jacobs will probably start “doing the right thing” and “adhering to the rules” and stop the pre-snap riffs. However, if I were AD, I’d ignore all warnings and gladly pay the $5,000 per game fine.
Actually, there are two ways we can get around the SEC fines. Here’s the rule we violated;
"The use of institutionally-controlled computerized sound systems, including music, and institutionally-controlled artificial noisemakers shall be restricted to pre-game, halftime, post-game, after a score and team or media timeouts."
It’s only illegal if it’s computerized! All we need to do is play vinyl records over the sound system. Better yet, we could hire the band Survivor to play the riffs live on the sidelines!
By the way, if you love Auburn, make sure I never become Athletic Director or a trustee. I’d have all the good intentions in the world, but I’d run the place into the ground.
Rockgate may have been one of Tommy Tuberville’s manipulative plots. As I’ve mentioned before, he has a way of making Auburn look superior by purposely doing something mundane that he knows will enrage his enemies. He did so with the four fingers with Bama last year, the 2004 Championship Parade and the LSU cigar incident. I wouldn’t be surprised if Tuberville told the sound guy
“Go nuts with the music. Those Florida jerks are going to sound like a bunch of wusses when they cry about it.”
Based on the
hilarious post game events, the Florida game may have been the greatest game
I’ve ever witnessed. The Alabama game last year was pretty cool, but
that wasn’t as much of a football game as it was a Road Runner cartoon.
E-mail mark at
mark@theauburner.com
