For many years, Alabama was obsessed with hiring Bear Bryant’s former players as coaches. The theory was “maybe some of the magic rubbed off”. After all, if you played for Bryant, you probably leaned a lot about determination, courage and winning. However, if you played for Bryant, you also endured grueling practices without water breaks which resulted in a lack of oxygen to the brain… which produced these brilliant minds;

Remember, Bryant was certain water increased estrogen levels.

Another recipient of Bryant based brain damage was Alabama’s athletic director Mal Moore.

Why does every university insist on hiring from a random good ol’ boy from within for the position of athletic director? Everyone acknowledges that college football is a business and the athletic director is basically the CEO. Instead of promoting the guy from the ticket office, why not hire an actual CEO from somewhere? The CEO wouldn’t even need to know about football. There are plenty of instances where a talented CEO moves from one industry to another and experiences great results.

If Alabama hired Lee Iacocca as AD, they’d be back in the championship hunt within a few years. Instead, they’re stuck with a sociology graduate whose responsible for the mess they’re currently in.

I’m fairly confident that Auburn’s recent success is due to our shadow athletic director who happens to be none other than an evil genius CEO. Sure, we all hate the guy, but most of Steve Job’s employees hate him as well. When Lowder had Tuberville hired, we common folk thought it was a horrible idea. However, it was an ingenious idea - our feeble non millionaire minds just couldn’t comprehend the brilliance behind it.

Hiring a coach is an investment and Lowder understood this. Mal Moore does not. He’s obsessed with buying out an overpriced stock in Saban or Spurrier and having no luck with it. When Auburn hired Tuberville there was a risk involved. Who decided to take the risk? No, not the athletic director (a journalist by trade), but the ‘evil’ CEO we all love to hate.

Sure, he did try to dump the stock early and lead a horribly contrived coup – but that coup unified the Auburn fan base unlike any other event. Maybe it was a part of his brilliant plan?

Watching the Alabama coaching search play out will be hilarious as usual, but ultimately unsatisfying for everyone as Alabama fans will never see another Paul Bryant at the helm, and Auburn fans will never see another Mike Price.

Thoughts on Borges and Stanford coming soon.