this marinate for a moment; In the first two games, a wide
receiver rushed seventeen times. The same wide receiver
and had zero receptions. In the first game, a fullback was
the team leader in receptions (8) – yet he had zero
carries. In the next game, the fullback, who you thought
had become a receiver, rushed nine times and yet only had
you know is wrong.
Burns better win some sort of national award for the nation's top
wide receiver. Since I'm an Auburn fan, I have no idea what such
an award is called... but Kodi Burns should get it since I doubt
there's ever been a wide receiver to score five touchdowns despite
only catching one ball.
Chris Todd's completion percentage was lower against
Mississippi State than it was in every game he was in except one
last year. The result was 49 points. Once again, up is down and
everything you know is wrong.
Apparently, Lee Ziemba lined up as an eligible
receiver at one point. Gene Chizik says he'll do it again, but
he'll never be thrown the ball. It doesn't make any sense, which
means something awesome will most likely come of it.
There's simply no explaining Gustav's* offense. Let's try to examine
it by looking at a random page from Malzhan's book.
This is actually in his book.
Are things getting any clearer? No? Exactly. He even uses wildcat
misdirection to sell books.
Malzahn, shortly before celebrating
the win with Potsie and Ralph at Arnolds.
mean, look at this guy. He's a cross between Richie Cunningham
and Genghis Kahn. He has four perfectly aligned pens hanging
from his pocket. What a nerd! Nerds aren't supposed to coach
football. Sure, sometimes you'll get a quirky guy like Mike
Leach or Terry Bowden who somehow sneak their way into the
profession, but you'll never find a complete nerd on the sideline.
Gus Malzahn probably chose the career because he viewed it
as the most legitimate occupation that is most similar to
a dungeon master.
I think we can safely say that Gus Malzahn is worthy of our
irrational obsessions. But, Is it time to trust Gene Chizik
yet? Probably, but it's not time for me to let go of my irrational
preconceptions. For instance, the BCS is Gene Chizik's fault.
if Chizik had not left Auburn after the 2004 season.
It's not inconceivable
to think that had Gene Chizik stayed in 2005, that the defense would've
performed better in the season opener against Georgia Tech. It's
not out of the question to think that Chizik would've been able
to hold Georgia Tech to two fewer touchdowns. It's also reasonable
to assume that Chizik would've been able to hold LSU just one more
stop during any of their scoring drives. If those two things happened,
Auburn would've been undefeated during the regular season.
probably been left out of the National Championship game for a second
consecutive year since teams which started above Auburn in the preseason
went undefeated. If Auburn, a team with 2 consecutive SEC championships
and two straight undefeated seasons, were to be left out of national
championship game, the outcry would've most certantly ended the
But, Gene Chizik
figured that being Texas' co-coordinator was cooler than being Auburn's
regular coordinator – and it worked out for him, but it was
to society's detriment.
But now, the
formerly 5-19 defensive minded head coach is shattering records
on the offensive side of the ball and currently has the #4 offense
in the country. Everything you know is wrong and it's looking awesome.