After seeing Auburn’s first game since the university had been bought by the Under Armour Corporation, I think Auburn’s going in the right direction. I still agree with the song “Eye of the Tiger” - it’s wrong to sell your passion for glory - but giving up some marketing rights for glory is good business.

I once wondered why Under Armour had a British spelling of “Armor”. The tough images the brand wishes to invoke shouldn’t want you to think of the British. However, after some research, I learned that “Under Armour” is deviated from the Celtic word “ündrarmoür” which means “man-girdle”.

If you missed the Under Armour commercial featuring Tommy Tuberville, here’s an accurate recreation (Tuberville appears in the last segment):

“CLICK CLACK MOTHER ******!!!!!”

“YO, YO, YO CICK CLACK IN THIS HIZZOUSE!!!”

“Sha-Zam! Cu-lick Cay-lay-uk!!!!!!”

Needless to say, the commercial was awesome.

Pregame was great. The intro video was propaganda filming at its finest. If Courtney Taylor concluded the video with “You should invade Poland”, I’d probably do it. Also, the eagle’s flight proved my theory that you can’t beat a pregame tradition which involves a predatory bird flying free above the stands and then devouring raw meat at midfield.

Will Muschamp had a great debut as Auburn’s defensive coordinator. His brilliant calls show that he’s basically a white Al Borges who works with defenses. Under his direction, our defense successfully “Brodied” the Washington State QB numerous times in the first quarter.

“Brodied” is one of the new Auburn-centric words which will be included in next years Webster’s Dictionary. Another word will be “Dye”, meaning “To recover quickly - like the Auburn Tigers did in the 1980s under Coach Pat Dye”.

Here’s an example:

“We just got your test results back and it looks like you’re going to dye very soon.”

Remember, Dye means “make a speedy recovery”

As usual, Al Borges provided us with a smorgasborges of offensive genius. In 2004, our weakness was our kicking game. Borges’ answer: score touchdowns instead of field goals. Brilliant idea coach! This year, our weakness is receiver. Borges’ answer: screen passes. Brilliant idea again. The only problem is that Kenny’s 40 screen pass yards will probably be overlooked by Heisman voters who will only see his rushing yards (still, he almost had 200).

However, Kenny won’t win the Heisman because of our incredible running back depth. There’s little difference between Kenny Irons and Brad Lester. Now that Brad Lester has changed to the number 1 jersey, I’m hereby revoking previous statements I’ve made about how lame it is for running backs to have single number jerseys. I now declare it ‘awesome’. I’ll draw the line when commentators start calling Irons and Lester “Lightning and Thunder”.

Behind Lester on the RB chart was yesterday’s recipient of the “Good Tryer Award” - Tre Smith. Al Borges pleased everybody in the crowd during a fourth quarter drive when he called for 30 consecutive Tre Smith runs up the middle. The 50% of Auburn fans who are Tre supporters enjoyed seeing his successfulness at gaining three or four yards every carry. The other 50% enjoyed seeing Tre get pummeled after the three or four yards. Borges has always been a crowd pleaser.

As for the lesser games of the day…. It looks like ‘Bama barely survived Hawaii. Will Herring had more rushing yards than Kenneth Darby (Ha ha… Kenneth… what a stupid name for a running back!!). Sarah Jessica Karr apparently did ok as quarterback against a weak defense, the jury’s still out on that guy.
USC’s John David Booty looks like another Matt Leinart. Let us allow the media to build him up as much as possible. The media givith and Quentin Groves shall takith away.

War Eagle!