1. A National Championship

This is the #1 desire by far. Odds are always against it. There are 119 teams in Division I football, about thirty of those teams have a legitimate chance at winning a championship. However, most years, national champions are predetermined by the government long before the season begins. For instance, the 2005 Orange Bowl was recorded in a secret military facility somewhere in Arizona during the spring of 1997. There's no way for the general public to know how often the championship is rigged by the government.

Many Auburn fans are obsessed with winning a national championship and have a hard time enjoying any season with any other result. They say really pompous things like

“I don't accept mediocrity” or “I demand success”

Statements like this pretty much define fair weather fans. Being a fan means that your actions and thoughts are completely independent from what happens on the field. If people held themselves to the same standards they hold their team's coaches to then either worldwide production would skyrocket or suicide rates dramatically increase.

2. SEC Championship

If Auburn can't win a national championship, the SEC championship is the next best thing. Like a national championship, winning an SEC title requires a very talented team and some luck.

Auburn has been very unfortunate to have only been in two SECCGs this millennium given their records. With only two exceptions, Auburn has ended every season this millennium with a better record than at least one of the teams playing in the SEC Championship game. And don't use the “luck has nothing to do with it” argument, because Auburn has been the only SEC team this millennium to have controlled their own destiny by going undefeated – every other team needed help.

3. Beat Bama (state championship)

If you're not the best in the nation and if you're not the best in the SEC, then being able to beat Alabama is a pretty good consolation prize. The vast majority of college football teams can only hope to beat their rival over half the time – much less achieve the first two hopes on the list. Auburn fans have been very fortunate to have a streak like we've seen over the past six years. Things are getting very interesting now that Alabama actually good. How good? They're so good that their new highlight videos might not have to be done in sepia tone. Still, I have good reason to believe the streak will continue. Even if it doesn't, I know for a fact that Tommy Tuberville is an excellent coach and should remain Auburn's football coach despite our record at the end of the season. It won't be because Auburn owes it to Tuberville, it's because Tuberville has already proven himself an elite coach.

Some say Auburn fans are being too short sighted when celebrating domination over Alabama. I fail to see how a fan can be 'wrong' for enjoying any success. Complacency in players is coaches is a bad thing. However, complacency should be the ultimate goal for the sports fan. Fans really need to stop treating each other like coaches.

Have you ever been a part of a conversation like this;

Fan 1: “Do you think Auburn will have a shot against Georgia this year?”

Fan 2: “I don't care about Georgia right now. We have to take one game at a time.”

I've read the “one game at a time” thing countless times on the internet and on the radio. I can't believe how dumb this statement is when coming from fans. Once again, fans' actions are independent from what happens in the game. When I talk about an interesting game happening a few weeks or months down the line – I promise you I won't accidentally leak Auburn's offensive scheme because I don't know what it is in the first place.

National championships, SEC championships, beat the arch rival. Those are the three things I hope for every year. I keep following Auburn football not because they give me those three things every year and I don't remain a fan because I've sworn to always follow Auburn football – I haven't. I'm an Auburn football fan because it's fun and it remains fun even in the 'down' years for various reasons I'm not even discussing right now. You can tell Auburn isn't having the best season this year based on the borderline introspective articles being posted here. Let's hope Tubs can right the ship and start dominating teams – this self reflection stuff isn't as fun as watching Auburn dominate opposing teams.

E-mail Mark at mark@theauburner.com
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