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2006 Bowl Previews
by Ryan
12-27-06
I would have written this earlier, but I would rather not even give the “San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia” Bowl the time of day to give a prediction. The first game worth watching doesn’t even start until December 27. In summary, the bowl season thus far has proven that the Pac-10 is absolutely worthless (both Pac-10 ‘powerhouses,’ Oregon and Arizona State were CRUSHED by BYU and Hawaii.) I think it’s high time that the Pac-10 start to invest in defense.
I would suggest that we create a different bowl system to create a better postseason that rewards the best teams of the season, but that would only result in a tedious domination by the SEC and the rest of the football world would crumble. Of the 12 SEC teams, 9 of them are playing in a bowl. Three of the top nine teams in the BCS are from the SEC. Here are the out-of-conference records for each conference (winning %):
ACC: 26-18 (59%)
BIG XII: 33-15 (68.75%)
BIG EAST: 32-8 (80 %... not bad)
BIG X: 32-12 (72.7%)
PAC-10: 32-10 (76.19%)
SEC: 41-7 (85.41%... are you surprised?)
WAC: 18-18 (50%)
And don’t give me any crap about SEC having powder-puff out-of-conference schedules, if the other conferences were good, we wouldn’t have that problem. Which brings me to my point: if there were some sort of playoff system, an SEC team would win it almost every year. Seeing how the SEC only loses to itself, how would all the other teams fare against an SEC heavy (9 out of our 12 teams) postseason? I’m pretty sure that even the biggest powerhouses would fall if they had to go up against teams like Florida, LSU, Auburn, Arkansas, Tennessee if they faced even two of them in a single postseason. Enough puffing up of my alpha-male (SEC) chest, lets do some Bowl Predictions:
The Emerald Bowl:
Florida State vs. UCLA
Many thought that the winner of the Florida State/Miami game would be on the
road for a national title. Little did we know that Florida State’s win
would allow Miami to edge out FSU for the title for most disappointing team
of the year. The Seminoles won’t take this lightly and exact revenge
with a disappointing 33-14 loss to UCLA.
PetroSun Independence
Bowl: Oklahoma State vs. Alabama
Alabama represents the Southeast while Oklahoma State represents the Middle-Central
in this epic showdown between two teams who can’t escape mediocrity
recently. Interim Bama coach Joe Kines will prepare the team for another moral
victory, but Oklahoma State will beat the Tide at their own game and pull
a “Bama”*, giving the Tide an odd 5-4 victory.
Pacific Life Holiday
Bowl: Texas A&M vs. California
California’s biggest wins of the season came against Arizona State and
Oregon, both of which were smothered by Small Conference teams. Texas A&M
is really good at losing to good teams by very little. California made USC
look good and therefore will be punished in an 18-9 loss.
Texas Bowl: Rutgers
vs. Kansas State
There is no better way to end a Cinderella story like Rutgers’ than
to climax the season against a pushover team like Kansas State. This year
the Big East is stronger than the Big XII North, and Rutgers still has a better
record. Does that mean anything? Not really, but it is still going to be my
basis for Rutgers winning in a 38-28 shoot-em-up.
Gaylord Hotels
Music City Bowl: Clemson vs. Kentucky
Now we’re talking! There is no better way to judge how tough a conference
is, top to bottom, without testing the #7 SEC team matching up against the
#6 ACC team. Which mid-ranked team is better? The SEC rules and therefore
Kentucky will win: 13-9.
Brut Sun Bowl:
Oregon State vs. Missouri
No one cares about this game so I made a Christmas comic that I thought was
hilarious:
Autozone Liberty
Bowl: South Carolina vs. Houston
This is going to be a blowout. Look for Spurrier to get “Cocky”
and run up the score Old School style in a 62-17 win.
Insight Bowl:
Texas Tech vs. Minnesota
The Red Raiders will rely on their passing game to get them past the mighty
uhhhhh… let me look this up…GOLDEN GOPHERS! Are you kidding me!
Oh man, TT doesn’t stand a chance! Go Golden Gophers! Hahaha, but seriously,
Texas Tech wins by like 30.
Champs Sports
Bowl: Purdue vs. Maryland
“Crab cakes and Football… That’s what Maryland does!”
Does that forgettable guy from Wedding Crashers need to say any more? This
game was over before it even started. Maryland goes on to succeed in both,
crab cake eating and football playing, as they go on to their 21-6 victory
party catered by crabcake.com. (I expect some free stuff for that plug!...
but no crab cakes please.)
Meineke Car Care
Bowl: Navy vs. Boston College
Navy will mount a halftime comeback when they replace their linebackers and
defensive ends with Navy Seals. Look for a very quick, stealthy, and lethal
second half by Navy. “Life, Liberty, and Pursuit of all who threaten
it… and Boston College.” Navy lays down the law in a 31-28 comeback
victory.
Alamo Bowl: Texas
vs. Iowa
Texas is coming off a 2 game losing-streak and Iowa is coming off a three
game losing streak. These are possibly the two coldest teams in the nation.
You can look forward to Iowa “keeping their cool” as they increase
their losing streak to 4 in their 33-13 defeat.**
Chick-Fil-A Bowl:
Georgia vs. Virginia Tech
Georgia on the other hand, is one of the hotter teams in the nation, coming
off impressive wins against Georgia Tech and uhhhh… I forgot the other
one. Anyways, Georgia is going to return to classic Georgia form in a classic
28-25 upset… this has nothing to do with my obvious SEC bias.
Nevada vs. Miami
Miami can’t beat a team with a pulse this season, and luckily for them,
Nevada hasn’t had a heartbeat since… well this gives meaning to
the phrase “You can’t die if you’ve never lived.”
Or maybe I just made that up. Either way, Miami is going to suck less than
Nevada and this will mark the first game where security guards surrounding
the field at the end of the game, rather than protecting the players from
the fans, will be there to protect the fans from the players. Miami wins 6-0,
the money gained from this bowl game will be used for future bail money.
2007 Bowl games coming soon!
*Pull a Bama [pul uh bam-uh] (verb): to catch an foe off guard by sucking more than expected, resulting in brief hilarity followed by pity.
**I apologize for how corny that was, and I’m going
to go ahead and apologize now to any future children I may have in the future
and how much I will embarrass them with my horrible jokes.
Ryan can be contacted at
ryan@theauburner.com
