| Life
in Big 10 Country 8-15-08 by: Ryan Well in case you didn’t know (and I don’t know how you would…), I am not going to be in Auburn this season. I won’t even be in the State of Alabama. Nor will I even be in the Southeast. Nay, I am spending this fall in Wisconsin, where many have been lead to believe that I will be in “training” for my future job in Nashville. Fear not, this is merely a façade. Deep below the surface appearance of what appears to be a hard working young man doing what it takes to make it in the “real world,” is a mole. That’s right. I am working undercover to see if the Big X really does deserve to have their name even muttered in the same sentence as the SEC. I’ve only been up here for a couple of weeks, but here are my findings so far: 1) I apparently have a ridiculous accent. I was walking into my apartment, when I ran into some of my neighbors where we engaged in friendly conversation. These were Big X fans alright. I told them I was from Auburn, and that I’m up here for “job training” (as I twiddle my fingers and look both ways suspiciously). They tell me to say that last sentence again. “I said I’m from Auburn, I’m up here for job training.” My neighbors looked at each other with a grin, and then looked back at me and asked me to “Say something else.” Well it seems I have a hilarious accent. I think I sound normal, and everyone else around here sounds like they are from Fargo… Dontcha knooooow? I think it’s adorable though. And I think my impersonation of their accent is hilarious, but it’s so bad it always drifts into an Irish/Australian accent. 2) I should “Just wait.” The weather up here is in the 90’s, just like everywhere else. It’s still hot until 9:00 pm. I figured that it would be significantly colder up here. So when I talk about my new experience in Wisconsin, I say, “It’s not as cold as I thought it would be.” To which every person would then say to me “You just wait.” Apparently it DOES get cold up here, but right now it’s really nice out and the trees are beautiful. My friend Kyle, who lived up here for 5 months, left me a present… it was an ice-scraper for my windshield. 3) They don’t know or care much about Bama. I was talking to another one of my neighbors about football and I said that Wisconsin (EVERYONE up here is a Badger fan) is looking to have a pretty good season according to their preseason rankings. Then we move on to talk about all the powder puff games that we’ll have. I mentioned that we’ll be opening up against “Loiuuuuiisanaaaa… Monroe” pronouncing it like I’ve never even heard of them before (But we all know that every Auburn and Alabama fan knows ‘daggum well’ who they are!). My new Wisconsin friend chimed in with “Yeah, you guys probably have to play a couple of no-name Div-II teams like Alabama… I dunno Tuscaloosa.” YES! He thought that UAT was some sort of worthless pushover team! I didn’t correct him. Naturally, a small piece of my heart now belongs to the Wisconsin Badgers. He did mention something about Auburn playing Wisconsin few years back, but I don’t seem to remember that particular game. 4) They don’t care that OSU can’t win against the SEC. Of course when the whole SEC vs. Big X argument starts out, I always open with Ohio State getting trounced every time they face an SEC team, to which everyone’s (including Ohio State fans) reaction is “Pssssh” like it’s an old wives tale. Saying that the best Big X team can’t even come close to the best SEC team is like saying the SEC is better because the Tooth Fairy told me so. Up here, results hold no water. I must find another way to reach them. I’ll keep you updated on the Big X, Jane Goodall style! * Sidenote:
The people up here are really nice and from what I can tell, have
shown the same amount of hospitality as you would expect in the
south. They certainly do love football, there’s no doubt about
that… it’s just that their version of football sucks…
SEC RULES! |
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